


We Go Together

by Marauderess5



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And boy is there a lot of space gay drama, Angst, Basically I made everything gay, Because it's hot and I said so, Every explanation for what Finn wanted to tell Rey in one fic, Everyone asking each other if they're okay, Extended Scene, Finn has PTSD, First Kiss, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, I'm In Charge Now Phasma, I'm in charge, Idiots in Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Missing Scene, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Rey has no time for the space gay drama, Rey is Finn's emotional support Jedi, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Stormpilot Ahoy, They call each other by their names a lot, gratuitous use of the word "buddy", so get your Bingo boards ready
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marauderess5/pseuds/Marauderess5
Summary: Remember in TROS when we got to see Finn patch up Poe after Poe was shot, and when Finn actually revealed what he wanted to tell Rey, and when everyone had Big Important Conersations and then Finn and Poe kissed?Anyway, here's a fic about that.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 58
Kudos: 367





	1. Chapter 1

“Which way?”

Poe’s voice floated over Finn’s shoulder, echoing in the too-quiet hangar. He saw Poe out of the corner of his eye, blaster at the ready, looking to him for guidance, for leadership. So sure, so trusting, even while Finn has given him a million reasons to doubt him. 

_Which way?_

Finn’s sharp eyes took in their surroundings, mentally piecing together the Star Destroyer’s gleaming passageways. Then, he stretched out beyond, feeling his way through the hallways...

“No idea,” he admitted. _Just a feeling_. And they’d have to start somewhere. “Follow me.” 

They moved quietly through the empty hangar, senses attuned for the telltale sound of approaching Stormtroopers. Finn crept forward through the mind-numbing maze of identical chrome hallways, darting glances at Rey to assure himself that she, the only properly trained Force-user, was actually the one leading them. Though Finn trusted, without any shadow of a doubt, the instinct that had led him to abandon the First Order and to ally himself with Poe, he was less certain about this newer instinct, the instinct that he didn't quite have the courage to name just yet.

Finn risked a glance at the Resistance pilot at his side. Determination was etched into every ( _delightfully contoured_ ) muscle of Poe’s body, confidence imbued in his every swift movement. Sensing Finn’s gaze, Poe looked up at him and smiled. 

_And yet…_ Finn blinked. Did Poe’s ( _dazzling, radiant_ ) smile seem more tentative than usual?

Did he finally realize how much he was risking, putting his life in Finn’s hands?

Because while Finn knew he had good instincts, he refused to trust this new... _power_ of his with Poe’s life. Especially if it’s what he thinks it is. Especially if it is what _Poe_ thinks it is.

After all, Finn has heard Poe’s muffled screams at night.

Their progress was halted by the appearance of two stormtroopers around the corner. Finn and Poe both tensed, readying their blasters, but Rey smoothly swept in front of them and waved her hand.

"It's okay that we're here,” she said calmly.

"It's okay that you’re here,” the first trooper repeated.

“It’s _good_ ,” the second agreed.

“You’re relieved that we’re here.”

The first stormtrooper sighed in relief. “Thank goodness you’re here!”

"Welcome, guys,” his partner chimed in cheerfully.

Poe nudged Finn and muttered, "Does she do that to us?"

Finn grimaced. Though Poe’s tone was light, he looked a bit unnerved. Finn desperately wanted to place a hand on his shoulder to reassure him...

Rey secured directions to Chewie’s cellblock and gestured to Finn and Poe to follow. 

They rounded another corner, and Finn leapt forward to fiddle with the locked door’s control panel. He felt Poe’s eyes on him as he worked, and wondered what the other man was thinking. If only he could just– 

_No_. Finn closed his eyes in horror. _No, I would never… I could never..._

The door slid open with a hiss. Behind him, he noticed that Rey had pulled up short.

“The dagger’s onboard this ship,” she said, looking around as though it would suddenly materialize from the ceiling. “We need it.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “How do you know?”

“A feeling,” said Rey, infuriatingly calm.

Rey turned away without another word, and panic laced through Finn's veins. _I can’t do this by myself, I can’t keep him safe–_

Finn instinctively moved to follow her. “Rey, you can’t just– ” he began, but something stopped him. Or, rather, some _one_ stopped him. Finn felt the heat of Poe's gaze even more than the pressure of his arm around his chest (though he was _far_ from immune to Poe's physical touch). He tore himself away from Rey's retreating figure and hesitantly faced Poe.

He was not surprised to see a fierce resolve glimmering in Poe's eyes, but he was startled by something that looked like a flash of betrayal. And for a brief, terrifying moment, Finn wondered if Poe had noticed the bone-deep fear flickering in his own eyes.

But Poe said nothing to indicate either his or Finn's emotions. Instead, he said simply: "Chewie."

And Finn simply nodded.

They continued on in hushed silence, encountering suspiciously little resistance from patrolling stormtroopers. Finn looked back every so often to make sure Poe was still following, and noticed a progressive hardening of Poe’s jaw as they inched closer to the interrogation chambers. Finn put a steadying hand on Poe’s arm. “You okay?” he said softly.

Poe jumped a little, then nodded. His jaw loosened. “Let’s do this.”

They found Chewbacca in the second-to-last interrogation chamber, looking exhausted but relatively unharmed. Upon catching sight of his rescuers, Chewie’s head snapped up and he roared an astonished greeting.

“Of course we came for you, Chewie!” Poe exclaimed, hurriedly helping Finn remove Chewbacca’s restraints. 

Chewie growled another question.

“Rey’s here,” Finn responded, once again feeling the intensity of her current absence. “She went to get the dagger.”

Unfortunately, their luck finally ran out soon after that.

Each corridor seemed to bring a new platoon of trigger-happy stormtroopers, as the trio blasted, jumped, and dodged their way past each incoming barrage. Finn’s pulse pounded in his ears, and a small part of him registered how much he was actually enjoying this, fighting alongside Poe, their movements completely in sync—as though they belonged together, and always have.

Not long after the battle of Crait, on a muggy evening when spirits were especially low, General Organa whipped out a bottle of Alderranian sherry and insisted, in a tone that left no room for argument, that everyone “let loose a little.” As the night wore on, morose talks of defeat morphed into rowdier recollections of rose-colored victories from the early days of the Resistance. Emboldened by the infectious energy of his new friends (and a little bit by the sherry), Finn jumped in with the story of their escape from Takodana (which was early days for _him_ , at least), and his view from the ground as Blue Squadron’s X-wing formation swept in at the last moment to save them, screaming across the sky, and how one X-wing in particular was picking off stormtroopers from thousands of feet up, swooping and swirling like its pilot had learned to fly before he could walk, and how Finn _knew_ it was Poe because no one else in the galaxy could fly like that. And when he finished, everyone was laughing a little too knowingly, but Poe bit his lip and tucked his head and said, with more warmth than both suns of Tatooine combined, “Thanks, Finn.”

But Poe wasn’t in an X-wing now; he was stuck with Finn and Chewie on a Star Destroyer, and they were hopelessly outnumbered and overpowered.

And then…

Finn felt rather than heard Poe go down—and for a moment he looked around in confusion, wondering when and how Poe had escaped his line of sight. But that was Poe Dameron for you: Bravely, impulsively leaping before he looks.

Poe's name was torn from Finn's lips in an anguished cry. Ignoring the chaos around them, Finn dropped to his knees next to a writhing Poe, hands reaching out in a fruitless attempt to assuage Poe’s noticeable pain.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked desperately. _Stupidly_. His heart hammered in his throat.

Poe’s breaths were coming in short gasps. He closed his eyes against the burning discomfort, clutching his left arm. Finally, he opened his eyes and met Finn’s anxious gaze. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I’m–” 

The rest of Poe’s response was drowned out by the hammering footfalls of approaching stormtroopers. Finn whipped his head around to check for the direction of the troopers so he could put himself between them and Poe, but it was already too late. In seconds, they were surrounded. 

A dozen blasters clicked in harmony, angled directly at the three Resistance fighters.

“Oh, hey, fellas,” Poe said, cracking a grin like they had all accidentally run into one another at the local cantina.

Chewie growled a “Shut up, Poe.” (Finn was still learning Shyriiwook, but he had become quite familiar with that particular phrase.)

The trooper captain ignored both Poe and Chewbacca. “Hands where we can see them,” he ordered.

Finn and Poe only had time to exchange a brief “How are we gonna get out of _this_ one?” look before the troopers wrenched their arms behind their backs and yanked them to their feet. Poe let out an involuntary grunt as the harsh movement pulled at his injured arm. 

“Hey, stop that!” Finn bit out, struggling futilely against the grips of the two troopers holding him. “You’re hurting him!”

Finn had a split second to glimpse the strange look on Poe’s pale face – part horror, part amusement – before a brutal blow to his kidneys sent him to his knees.

For an instant, reality was lost to him. When he came back to himself, he looked up to find that Poe’s face now registered only horror. “–inn! _Finn_ , can you hear me, buddy?” A pulse in Poe’s neck jumped as he strained against his captors. “We’ll get out of this like we always do, I prom–”

“ _Enough!_ ” The trooper captain backhanded Poe across the face with enough force to draw blood, and Poe crumpled to the floor with a sickening thump. Chewbacca roared, and four blasters whined in unison as the troopers surrounding them nervously trained their weapons on the enraged Wookie. All of Finn’s energy focused on Poe’s precarious position. He became dimly aware of a dull buzz in the air, like sparks dancing across his skin. 

The captain crouched down and grasped the front of Poe’s shirt in a tight-knuckled grip. “I’ve had enough of you mouthy Resistance fighters,” he said, voice warbling through his helmet. Poe lifted his head and glared.

“Ren really should have killed you when he had the chance,” the trooper hissed.

In response, Poe spat in the captain’s face.

Finn stiffened as the captain reached up to wipe the blood off of his helmet, only succeeding in smearing a thin red line across the gleaming white surface.

Suddenly–

Finn was back on Jakku, fatefully lowering his blaster, feeling the burn of his fellow trooper’s blood-stained hand through the plastoid of his helmet as something awakened within him– 

Suddenly–

The trooper captain calmly rested his blaster on Poe’s chest, whispering hiss echoing in the chrome corridor– “Hux wanted the prisoners alive,” the trooper was saying. “But...accidents happen…”

Finn’s whole being was on fire; he couldn’t feel his fingertips. Without knowing how, he found himself freed from his captors as he thrust a hand forward, reaching towards Poe with all of his might.

“ _NO!_ ” Finn cried– 

–and suddenly, he was soaring. His lungs inflated with oxygen and power and purpose, every sinew of his body aflame with the potential energy of a thousand suns. A lifetime flashed before his eyes, leaving impressions behind his eyelids like snapshots from his past and future: the turgid stink of stormtrooper barracks; the pristine gleam of unforgiving durasteel walls; the musky comfort of a well-worn jacket; the jungle scent of a bioluminescent orchid mixed with the tang from a fleximetal wedding ring. But here, on this Star Destroyer, Finn could only tap into a pervasive sense of fear, uncertainty, and desperation, as a burst of bright energy scattered the figures in front of him like grains of sand from the surface of Jakku; and then, everything was still.

Finn opened his eyes. The silence of the corridor thrummed in his ears, the low light flickering over the piles of bodies surrounding him. And over against the wall…

 _Poe_. 

Finn staggered over to Poe’s slumped figure, heart lurching with every step.

_No. No no no no–_

He fell to his knees in front of Poe for the second time in the past five minutes and reached out a trembling hand.

Poe stirred, blinking sluggishly. And when he noticed Finn crouched in front of him, hand outstretched— 

—he _flinched_. 

It was a tiny movement, just a tightening of the eyes, an involuntary twitch of his shoulders. But it was there. And in that moment, Finn saw his worst fears realized.

“F-Finn...?” Poe croaked.

Finn froze, paralyzed.

He caught a glimpse of Poe’s eyes – glassy, unfocused, confused...and afraid – before they fluttered shut.

“No, no – POE!” Finn finally found his voice. “Poe, can you hear me?” He gripped Poe’s shoulder as the latter started to slump to one side, and reached out another hand to support his head. His fingers brushed something wet behind Poe’s ear, and his breath caught.

Blood. Poe’s blood.

On his hands.

_I did this. I did this to him._

In the stillness and the silence, Finn noticed another presence by his side: Chewie. Decidedly conscious and miraculously unhurt. Finn offered up a silent prayer of thanks for the Wookie’s thick, impenetrable skin. 

Chewie gestured to the sprawled stormtroopers and rumbled a note of concern.

“I know, I know,” Finn scrubbed a hand across his face and pointedly ignored Chewbacca’s question about his own wellbeing. “We need to meet Rey back at Ochi’s ship.” 

Trembling slightly, Finn took a step back from Poe. He turned to Chewie, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. "Can you…?" He waved a hand in Poe's direction. 

Chewie grunted.

Finn scoffed. “You’re not _always_ carrying us—okay, when else?”

An exasperated growl.

“Oh. Yeah.” Finn's scar itched. “Uhh. Thanks again."

Chewbacca carefully gathered Poe into his arms. Poe’s arm swung limply as Chewie turned to face Finn, and guilt coiled hot and acidic in Finn’s gut.

“This way,” said Finn tightly. 

They worked their way towards their ship, until a sharp tug halted Finn in his tracks.

“Wait…” He doubled back and turned another corner, Chewie right behind him. Finn smiled at the sight that unfolded through the viewport in front of them. “That’ll do.”

The loading platform to the _Millennium Falcon_ was just hissing shut behind them when a shout rang out, and a volley of blaster bolts peppered the hull with explosive _ping_ s.

“We gotta punch it,” Finn called. “Won’t be long till they bring out the big guns.”

Chewbacca growled in agreement, lowering Poe into the alcove near the _Falcon'_ s meager medical bay area.

“Bring us to hangar twelve,” Finn shouted after Chewie’s retreating figure. “I have a feeling Rey’s gonna need a pickup.”

He knelt by Poe's prone figure as they banked a sharp right out of the hangar, blaster bolts peppering across their shields. It was a miracle, really, that they had escaped once again from Ren's Star Destroyer. But at what cost? Finn gazed down at his shaking hands, then back at Poe– breathing deeply, but still unconscious.

At what cost?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone finally has A Conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in posting this chapter -- I thought I was pretty much done, but then Finn and Poe just...kept...talking! They just want to talk to each other forever! They’re too in love. I don’t make the rules.

“REY!”

The tiny, glimmering lights of Kijimi winked at him from the surface, and Finn tried very, very hard not to look down.

“Rey, come on, I got you!”

 _But who’s got_ me _?_

The Star Destroyer's atmospheric field shielded Rey from the gaping expanse of space as she leapt off the platform towards Finn's outstretched hand. Finn's heart hammered in his chest; Rey was momentarily suspended in the inky emptiness, until an invisible Force (well, _duh_ ) propelled her onto the landing platform. Rey's grip radiated the strength and comfort Finn had come to associate with her. But this time, it was tinged with uncertainty and…some of the fear that Finn himself had been carrying around for so long.

He clutched Rey’s shoulders after they were safely inside the ship. “Are you okay?”

“I…” she looked lost. Even without any nudges from the Force, Finn could tell that Rey was desperately struggling for clarity. Rey kept everything so close to her chest, but in many ways, she was also an open book.

Before he could probe any deeper, though, Rey caught sight of Poe, and she turned back to Finn in alarm.

“What happened to Poe?” Rey’s eyes were wide with concern. “Did they–is he–?” 

“He’s fine,” Finn assured her (...assured himself). “I think. Just knocked out.” _By me_.

Rey put a steadying hand on Finn’s forearm. Of course she noticed his pulsing concern, his failed attempt at nonchalance. Of course. She gave him a small smile and waggled her fingers. “I’m happy to look him over while he’s aslee–” 

“NO!” Finn launched himself in front of Rey before she could take more than two steps in Poe’s direction. Rey went very still, staring at him in astonishment. “No,” Finn choked out. “He–he wouldn’t want…” 

_Wouldn’t want what?_ How could he know what Poe wanted when he’s never actually asked him? When they’ve never actually talked about how the war has affected them, how the war has _sh_ _aped_ them, how they feel about each other– 

Finn immediately clamped down on that last one. He knew how Poe must feel about him _now_. Because he could never love someone who was...who was…

Finn jolted back to awareness when he realized that Rey hadn’t moved. She was looking at him – _through him_ – with her patented mixture of terrifying intensity and openhearted kindness.

 _She’ll understand_ , a small voice assured him. _She’s like me, and...no matter what else, she’s my friend_.

Finn realized it was now or never. He took a deep breath and looked up. “I think we need to talk.”

They hunkered down next to Poe’s alcove, since Finn refused to let him out of his sight. (“What if he wakes up and doesn’t know where he is?” Finn fretted. “He’s been on the _Falcon_ a time or two,” Rey said archly. “Yes, but,” responded Finn.) 

Finn fidgeted. He glanced over at Poe, who was never this eerily still, and then back at Rey, who was always this eerily still.

“Rey, I…” He swallowed thickly. “I think I’m–”

“In love with Poe, I know,” Rey finished, having the audacity to appear slightly bored.

“Force– _what_?!” Finn yelped, gaze darting once again to the prone figure beside him, with his rumpled curls and that stupid, sexy scarf– _Not helping, Finn, NOT helping!_ “No! I mean, not _no,_ but–I mean, _everyone_ ’s a little bit in love with Poe. He…”

“He’s just Poe, you know?” He finished lamely.

_When did it get so hot in here?_

Rey gave him a pitying look. Her eyes were twinkling, just a bit. “But you’re not everyone,” she said, smiling gently. “And it’s not just ‘a little.’”

“Well…” Finn cleared his throat. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Even if he feels the same way, he won’t anymore, once I tell him–”

“That you’re Force-sensitive?” Rey supplied.

“–that I’m–” Finn spluttered. “ _Stop_ that!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Rey did not look penitent. In fact, she was actually grinning.

A part of Finn was glad to see Rey smiling – she was always so serious, always so burdened. But now that his big secret was finally out in the open, he felt all of the emotion he had bottled up bubbling to the surface. Rey noticed his distress.

“Hey,” she reached out a calming hand. “Finn, this is a good thing! It means I’m not the last Jedi – and we can train together! I won’t have to do this all alone…” She trailed off at the look on Finn’s face. “What? What is it?”

Finn’s heart sank. _Of course_. For Rey, a latent Force power meant a ticket to freedom, to personhood. For Finn, it meant another system of oppression, a reminder of the agony inflicted by Kylo Ren on innumerable beings across the galaxy...on one incredibly special, incomparably courageous being in particular…

“It’s not a good thing,” Finn whispered. “Not for me.” His gaze was once again drawn to Poe.

As though in response to Finn’s inner turmoil, the _Falcon_ gave a sudden, shuddering rumble, immediately followed by a guttural roar from the direction of the cockpit.

“I’m coming, Chewie!” Rey called, looking anxious. Finn knew how deeply she cared for Solo’s ship; their conversation was as good as over. He couldn’t tell if he was relieved or dismayed that he was temporarily off the hook.

“This is _not_ over,” Rey said sternly, reading his thoughts once again. “It’ll be okay, Finn. But…” her eyes softened. “You need to stop bottling all this up, and just talk to Poe.”

“Do I?” His voice cracked in alarm.

Rey rolled her eyes.

––

Finn thought about the first time he laid eyes on Poe Dameron. 

FN-2187 marched into the interrogation chamber, acting like he belonged, knowing he didn’t belong, hoping he would sometime belong somewhere. He remembered seeing the “best pilot in the Resistance” strapped to a chair, broken but not beaten. He recalled the taught lines of Poe’s body, etched with weariness but radiating defiance. And he saw the imperceptible glint of fear in Poe’s eyes when FN-2187 mentioned Kylo Ren.

It was a vulnerability he had never sensed in any of the First Order officers, and it sparked something inside him, a certainty that he was doing the right thing, running away from such evil. And then Poe smiled at him like no one ever had and no one ever would. And Finn knew he was done for.

Finn wiped Poe’s blood off his hands and gingerly cleaned the dirtied areas around Poe’s face and neck. He tilted Poe’s head to the side to get a better look at the gash on the back of his head and breathed an audible sigh of relief when he realized the cut wasn’t too deep. 

He tried not to think about how pleasant Poe’s stubble felt underneath his fingertips.

When he was done, he tossed the rag to the side and stared at his hands, lost in thought, until a soft inhale to his left jerked his mind back to the present. 

“...Finn?” Poe murmured.

Finn leaned closer, raking his eyes over Poe for any signs of immediate distress. “I’m here, Poe. You’re safe.”

Poe’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked slowly, adjusting to the dimly lit cabin as he confusedly took in his surroundings. “Is this…” He patted the seat with his good hand, as though assuring himself it was real. “Is this the _Falcon_?”

Despite his anxiety, Finn couldn’t help but laugh at the look of pure bemusement on Poe’s face. “Yeah, Poe.”

Poe furrowed his brow in frustration as awareness returned to him in fits and starts. “Chewie? Rey? They’re okay?”

“In the cockpit.” Finn smirked. “Why do you think we’re flying so smoothly?”

“ _Hey_. I resent that.” Poe reached out to playfully punch Finn but sucked in a pained breath when the movement tugged at his blaster wound. “Ow.” He curled protectively around his injury, angling his body towards Finn. “How...what happened?”

Finn dodged the question, like the coward he was, and instead asked: “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a speeder.” Poe rubbed the bridge of his nose and winced. “Which _did_ happen to me, by the way, back when I was…” He stopped, suddenly self-conscious. Their earlier argument, their barbed back-and-forths, Finn’s reticence and Poe’s temper– it was all suspended in the air between them, heavy and charged.

“B-back when I was younger,” Poe mumbled awkwardly. 

In light of the current circumstances, Finn mercifully decided to let this one go. He cleared his throat. “Let me see what we have in the medpac so I can bandage that arm.”

Poe was quiet as Finn burrowed underneath for the _Falcon_ ’s one remaining pack of medical supplies. He cracked it open and they both peered inside in dismay.

“Oh,” said Finn. “I forgot.”

“Onderon,” Poe sighed.

“Onderon,” Finn agreed.

On a recent mission to recruit allies to the Resistance cause, Finn and Poe ran into a spot of trouble in the teeming Onderon jungle involving a swath of flesh-eating fauna. It took them hours of meticulously applied bacta and all of their remaining rolls of bandages to clean themselves up after the incident. 

They had laughed about it at the time, but now, Finn now felt like he was failing Poe all over again. As though sensing his dismay, Poe said. “It’s fine, Finn. Use my scarf.”

Finn grimaced in sympathy. “You love that scarf.”

“I love the use of my arm even more,” Poe pointed out.

Finn chuckled. “Alright. I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?” 

“Don’t need help,” Poe grumbled, but he leaned into Finn’s touch as steady hands guided him upright.

“Oof,” Poe scrunched his eyes shut and listed to the side. Finn tightened his grip in response. “Just got a little dizzy.” 

Finn felt himself begin to spiral. “Deep breaths,” he muttered, talking more to himself than to Poe. 

Poe had to hold back a laugh. “It’s okay, Finn, it passed. I’m fine.” His eyes sparkled as he tugged at his scarf with one hand.

“Here, I got it,” Finn lifted his hands and hesitated for a heartbeat of a moment– but this time, Poe didn’t flinch away. Finn slowly unraveled the emerald scarf around Poe’s neck, careful not to jostle any of his injuries. Poe watched him with such open, naked trust that it somehow made Finn feel even worse. He burned under Poe’s gaze; grateful for the distraction, he lightly applied some bacta from their one remaining (outdated) tube and tried to focus on wrapping the fabric without hurting Poe further.

“You okay?” Poe prodded softly.

“ _Me_?” Finn paused in his ministrations, glancing up incredulously.

“Yeah, buddy. You look like you’re about to throw up.”

Finn tied the edges of the fabric and rested two fingers on his handiwork, extending the touch longer than was probably necessary. 

Finally, he looked up at Poe and took another long, deep breath. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Poe frowned in concentration. “Landing in the hangar...No– finding Chewie. And then…” Unconsciously, a hand wandered to the gash on the back of his head. “Then I draw a blank.”

_What did you want to tell me before?_

_You mean when Poe’s not here?_

“Okay,” Finn swallowed. “I should probably start by telling you that...I talked to Rey.”

Suddenly, Poe stiffened. Finn pulled back in surprise. “Didn’t...didn’t you want to know what I was going to say to her?”

“Sure.” Poe’s voice was abruptly laced with an undercurrent of durasteel. “Of course. I’d love to know the big secret you and Rey are sharing.”

Finn couldn’t believe how badly this was already going. He privately promised to never again take interpersonal advice from Rey. “But Rey said…” he began.

“You know what? I changed my mind,” Poe leaned his head back against the alcove and closed his eyes. “I know what you wanted to tell Rey, and I can’t…I don’t need to hear you say it. Go be with her. I’ll be fine.” If Finn hadn’t been staring at Poe in undisguised despair, he might have missed the flicker of anguish in his eyes before he turned away from Finn. 

So, he knew. Possibly all along. Was he lying about not remembering the incident in the hallway? It didn’t matter; Poe knew his secret, and because of that, he couldn’t bear to be in Finn’s presence.

Finn wanted to turn away as well, but he fought the impulse. He was done running. He needed to finish ripping off the bandage and come clean to Poe, so he could start learning how to possibly live his life _without_ Poe by his side. He owed Poe that, at least.

“Poe…” he began, just soaking in what might be the last moments of their relationship. “This feeling inside me, I think it’s always been there...but I didn’t know until I met Rey. Until I saw what she could do.”

Poe opened his eyes but stared at the opposite wall, stonefaced. 

“But I denied it for a long time because I saw how much bad it could do, in the wrong hands. How much pain the–the Force has caused _you_ … 

“All my life, I’ve only known war. But this past year, going on missions with you–it’s been the happiest of my life. And I-I didn’t want to lose that. To be honest, Poe, I don’t want to train with Rey. I don’t want to train at all. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t– I _don’t_ – want to lose you. But I’ve been so selfish, and I...I understand if you’re repulsed by me, if you never want to talk to me again, if you…” 

Finn looked up to see that Poe was gaping at him, openmouthed.

“Wait,” Poe said. “You’re _Force-sensitive_?” 

Finn gaped right back. “Y...yes?” 

“Finn! Buddy!” Finn’s confusion skyrocketed as a wide grin spread across Poe’s face. “That’s amazing! You’re amazing! I mean, I always knew you were amazing, but–” 

“Poe?” Finn interjected, worry creeping into his voice as he leaned forward to study Poe’s pupils. “Your concussion might be worse than we thought, I think you should lie down...”

“What?” Poe still had this bizarre smile on his face; he was looking at Finn with a strange mixture of wonder and relief.

This was wrong. This was all wrong.

Finn felt that uncomfortable buzzing in his ears again. He scooted back from Poe’s adoring gaze, shaking with thinly disguised distress.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Finn bit out. “Poe, listen to me: I’m dangerous, I could hurt you–” 

Poe dropped his beatific smile. “No, you would never–”

“But I _did_!” Finn angrily swiped at the tears that he had been holding at bay for hours, burying his head in his hands. “I did, Poe! Stormtroopers captured us, and there was no way out, and they were _hurting_ you, and I couldn’t bear...I-I lost control. I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly everyone was on the ground, and you…I couldn’t even tell if you were _alive_...”

The silence was deafening. Finn’s stomach churned as he wallowed in a mental image of a still, utterly lifeless Poe.

“Finn.” A warm hand encircled his knee. “ _Finn_. Look at me.”

Finn raised his head, feeling utterly drained. Poe’s eyes were stormy, but as he spoke, his voice was steady. “I meant it, Finn: You could _never_ hurt me. Certainly not on purpose, and I think, not even subconsciously. I don’t know what kind of shape all of those stormtroopers are in, but I think a part of you managed to hold back that power when it came to me, because I’m fine, Finn, I promise. 

“Did I ever tell you I grew up next to a Force tree? Gift from Luke Skywalker to my parents. I used to play on it all the time as a kid. But I was careless, of course…” 

Finn made no attempt to hide his total lack of surprise. “Did you get hurt?”

Poe chuckled. “No, Finn–in fact, _I_ was the one who hurt _it_. I was tinkering with some old podracer engines to help my dad with the koyo harvest, and ended up accidentally burning bits of the tree.”

His lips quirked as he recalled the bittersweet memory. “My father was furious. He made me spend the entire year caring for the tree, nursing it back to health. It took nearly that long for the tree to trust me again.

“You know…” Poe fiddled absentmindedly with the chain he always wore around his neck. “This was right after my mother died, and I...I swear I felt her presence while healing that tree.”

Finn sat in hushed silence, hesitant to interrupt Poe now that he was actually sharing details about his past. “Was she...was your mother Force-sensitive?”

“No,” Poe smiled. “Just extraordinary.”

“I wish I could have met her,” Finn said, taking in Poe’s expression with a sudden twinge of regret.

“Me too, buddy." The shadow of childhood tragedy crossed his face. “But my point is...it’s not about the power, it’s about the person.” He shook his head and huffed a laugh, beaming at Finn with the kind of inner light Finn had never encountered before he met Poe. “ _You_ are extraordinary, Finn. You were taken against your will to serve the greatest evil in this galaxy. And, somehow, you still don’t have a hurtful bone in your body.”

A lighthearted roar and an answering shriek of protest wafted over from the _Falcon_ ’s cockpit, and Finn felt a tiny portion of the tension wracking his body begin to dissipate. The way that Poe was looking at him now, the way that Rey and Chewie treated him…

“I...” Finn swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’m just really lucky, I guess.” The words weren’t enough to contain the immensity of the emotion passing through him...but it was all he had.

Poe seemed to understand, and that was what mattered. 

“And besides...” He punched Finn lightly in the chest. “If you hadn’t done what you did, we probably _all_ would have died.”

Finn fidgeted, lips twisting upwards in a tentative grin. “I guess the Force is looking out for us, huh?”

“Seems like it, buddy.” 

“Poe?” 

“Yeah?”

Finn swore he could hear Poe’s heartbeat.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“Anytime,” said Poe, and, of course, he looked like he meant it. “Finn– you can tell me anything, you know that? No more secrets. Okay?”

“Okay,” said Finn. “So then...”

“Yeah?”

“If you’re not not angry about me being...Force-sensitive, why were you upset before? What did you think I was going to say to you?”

“Oh,” said Poe. “Uh. Well.”

Finn waited.

“You know, it doesn’t matter!” Poe tried to pass off a carefree laugh and failed miserably. “It was stupid, I was...uh, concussed, because of the–”

“Poe.”

“–I mean, very irresponsible not to have medical supplies aboard a Resistance ship–”

“ _Poe_.” 

“–what kind of operation are we running here, anyway? When I was in the Academy–”

Finn gripped Poe’s face with both hands. “You _just_ said no more secrets.”

“I…” 

(And yet...Finn couldn’t help but register the way his stomach fluttered with delight when Poe looked this flustered.)

Finn lowered his hands and pinned Poe with a glare instead.

“Oh, well, I thought…” Poe suddenly blushed and looked away. “Well, I thought you were going to tell Rey that...that you had feelings for her. Never mind. It’s stupid.”

_Oh._

_What?_

“Feelings?” Finn echoed. “Like, friendship feelings?”

Poe made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob, and self-consciously tugged at an errant curl. “No, Finn, not like friendship feelings.”

With a piercing clarity Finn had only felt once or twice before in his whole life, he realized that the sparks burning through his veins in that moment had nothing to do with his latent Force power.

“Poe Dameron,” Finn croaked. “You better be saying what I think you’re saying.”

“Finn, you complete moof-milker,” Poe’s voice shook slightly as he leaned his forehead against Finn’s. “Don’t you know that I’ve been in love with you since the moment you took off that damned helmet?”

It was as though the ground had dropped out from beneath them, and the only thing holding Finn afloat was Poe’s touch. And Finn was, well, he was probably okay with that. He was absolutely, definitely _more_ than okay with that. 

He murmured Poe’s name and closed the inches between them with a burning kiss, a kiss that spoke of yearning, of hope, of families lost and found; a kiss that opened himself up completely to Poe’s trust, his passion, his love.

In response, Poe hooked a hand around Finn’s neck and breathed him in like a dying man gasping for air.

 _And maybe..._ Finn thought, as he pulled Poe close, slid his fingers through Poe’s hair, chased Poe’s lips with his own… _Maybe they_ were _all dying, maybe this war would end them, maybe none of this joy could last–_

He hesitated, and Poe pulled back, eyes searching his face with tenderness and concern.

“What if…” Finn’s hands fell to Poe’s chest, to the chain he wore around his neck. “What if I’m not ready for this power, what if I can’t control it?”

“Finn,” Poe’s hand slid down Finn’s arm to slip calloused fingers between his own. His eyes were hyperspace-bright. “You don’t have to do any of this alone. Whatever happens, whatever comes next...we go together.”

A powerful feeling of peace and purpose settled over Finn, and he smiled. 

“We go together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fixed it for you, JJ.


End file.
